Turning 30

Today I turned 30. It was not really turning 30 that caused me a moment of sadness. It was not realizing that I am now considered "old" and headed toward "middle age." It was not the realization that I still have not had that second little one. It was not that thought that I do not have that wonderful career. What got me was the idea of the one I loved and wanted to spend my time with was an ocean away. Everyone says that it gets easier each month. This is true in every day management of the household. It was true in the beginning months with simply adjusting and missing him. But now at the six month mark, I am finding it becoming hard again. I find myself tired of the separation, tired of the empty bed, tired of the empty celebrations. When I hear of others who do six month or shorter deployments I feel cheated and jealous. Yet I know I have to march on. I know there is nothing to do but to climb that hill. Isn't that what good army wives do? I know that this to shall pass. I know all the right answers. Yet, I find myself today on my special day tired of the right answers, tired of being brave and keeping my chin up, tired of the empty house, just plain tired. Yet we will continue on because that is all that can be done, and tomorrow will hopefully be a brighter day.

Garage

Well yesterday I said everything seems to break when our soldiers leave. Today I tried to leave the house to run an errand and discovered the garage doors would not open. I checked the box to see if the little things were thrown. It didn't look like they were. I had to call my neighbor in order to get the car out. Totally red faced! Twice in a row now. Guess what, I had not checked all breaker things! I felt dumb. He did show me how to manually open the doors if it ever happened again. Oh husband of mine please hurry up for I am tired of trying to be a man for I am discovering I fell at the job most miserably!

Bambi

Well it looks like my little girl is going to take after her momma. I was and am known for crying through just about every movie made. I can find the sad part in a movie without a problem and burst into tears. I am especially known for crying when animals die. Don't ask me why, I've been doing this since I was a kid! My little girl has just cried her why through Bambi! She got very upset for the momma deer and the baby deer. Bless her little heart! She is my tender one.

Spiritual Gifts

I have discovered through the years one spiritual gift that I do not possess. That is the gift of teaching little ones. For some reason everyone thinks I would be a great volunteer with the preschool department of my church. This happens to me wherever we have lived. I lack the ability to "just say NO" when I am ask to help in this area. (or any area for that matter) I long to serve the Lord but it always ends up a disaster when I try to go outside of my talent. That is what happened tonight! I was ask to help with childcare of the small children. The lesson I planned sound great in my head. It sounded fabulous! I had three educational crafts planned that would take up the whole time plus teach about a missionary. Oh if it only work out in reality as it does in my head. I couldn't keep the kids in their seats and we went through the crafts in just a few minutes. I left with a headache and a desire to run away and hide for a very long time. I think that is why we are suppose to find our talents and spiritual gifts and serve the Lord accordingly! And I have to learn to say NO!

Camper

Like I stated and have been told by so many military wives who have gone through deployments, once they leave it breaks. This time it was the camper. It sprung a leak. I guess I could have turned it into a boat but I would have still had to bail water so that wouldn't work. Thanks to a extremely fine fellow camper neighbor the leak has been fixed and all is dry. Of course now I have to go clean up. And of course, I discovered that there were ants inside the camper. Happy days are here again.....

This one is for you Dad

I have been trying to reverse the trend of Em sleeping with me. This occurred after Daddy had to leave. Not to bright on Momma's part. As I was talking to Em last night, I ask her where did she think Daddy would sleep when he came back home. Her simple answer was, "with me." Score one Emily. What about Momma? "Oh, you can sleep in your bed Momma" Score two Emily. Looks like Emily is about to hit a home run. I say, "Don't you think Daddy is going to want to sleep Momma like he use too?" Emily answers, "Oh, you can sleep with us if you want to Momma!" Home Run EMILY. It is out of the park in preschool reasoning. These type of conversations always seem to end up going around in circles.....