Friday, February 12, 2010
Love Languages
My husband is one of the sweetest men on the planet. Our first year of marriage he went to a marriage conference with Dr. Gary Chapman. He has read books about marriage. Worked with me to implement changes where we can have a successful and happy life together. Even with resistance from childhood home he understands and knows what it means to leave and cleave and has done this with God's grace and love. We have a wonderful life together. Now here is my deep question for the night. How do you met and take care of each other's love languages when you are miles apart? His acts of service, mine quality time. How do you demonstrate love when a sea separates you? As I say this, ideas come to mind. They hardly scratch the surface of how he should be shown love. If I'm honest, I wonder if I will been "running on empty" for an entire year. There has got to be a better way. I guess now is the time to pray for answers and try new ways and be glad it is only one year out of many many more together.
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2 comments:
I am not married to military, so my response may not be what you are looking for; but I am a single mom, so I get the alone and empty aspects of your question. Speaking as someone whose primary love language is acts of service, it can be the simple things. If you mail him a package, let him know how much of your time and effort purchasing and putting together the items took. When you do something that would be on his list of things to do, like cleaning the gutters, let him know that you did it and thought of him the whole time; that you did it for him as an act of love even though he isn't there, he can feel the love from that far away. For you, find other poeple (female) who help you fill your love need. Spend time just hanging out with girl friends. Be very on purpose about it. God did not create you to get all of your needs filled by only one person. We need lots of people in our lives. I may not comment often, but I read all of your posts and I pray for you daily. God bless you and yours.
From hubs who has been there and done that...
1. Regular emails
2. Snail mail - mail call can be the biggest highlight or disappointment of the day.
3. Whats hubs really liked was a short daily journal on our website so he could feel like he knew about our days and feel more connected.
4. Keep arguments and worries to a minimum so they can focus on the mission. This doesn't mean hide loneliness or disagreements...just choose your battles and think about "tone" or lack there of with the written word.
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